That phrase forever tortures my heart.Right from my childhood.Right from when my mum would kiss me goodbye on the forehead as she left for work leaving me behind with my auntie.Right from when my visiting cousins would be going after spending a weekend.Something about goodbyes is that they are fond.They are heartfelt.Goodbyes come from people very close or once close to us.I hate departures.Announced or unannounced.Timely or untimely.Not after spending a minute or a decade with people we really treasure.Those we put close to our hearts.Those we always think of. Reminds me of when I joined boarding school back then in lower primary when I was still a junior.I was so overwhelmed with the thought of finally getting to be on my own.To finally be independent.To time myself. To do my laundry.To take care of my belongings.To finally be on my own.I smiled at the whole idea every time I thought about it.I was more than excited.But once I told my mum goodbye,I cried rivers.I regretted the whole idea of ever wishing to go to a boarding school.For nearly a fortnight,I was never myself.Bitter sweet goodbyes.
Inevitable goodbyes? Those are the worst.The whole thought of never seeing someone for sometime or sometimes even forever,is sickening.Its heartbreaking.People we can hardly spend a day without.Family,close friends and lovers.Even worse,appearing as strangers to people who knew every little detail about you.Your shoe size.Your favorite meal.Your worst artist.Everything.People whom you spilled every little detail about your life to.And then one day,a simple “goodbye forever” ruins it all.Everything.
“Goodbye.I wish you all the best in life.” Why do people say that when all they do is want to walk out of your life.Is it he most polite way mankind ever invented to unceremoniously walk out of someone’s life?No if you really wished me all the best in life,you’d stick around.For a little longer.Hang on to the strides left.However weak.Hold on to the edge.However close.However dangerous.That what significant others are supposed to do.That’s what partners are for.Not just to share the good times and ahoy!When things go south,so does the duo.All the best in life?That was you.You were the best in life.In my life.And no,you really don’t wish me well.Those who really do stay.Those who really do forgive.They try and bury the past,six feet under to create avenues for a better tomorrow.To illuminate the ever promising future ahead.Those who care?Those who care don’t hold grudges.They are never quick to say “goodbyes.”There is absolutely nothing good in goodbyes.
Flee! But still,we find a way and flee.We find our own escapism from the reality.We find away to deal with everything.To deal with goodbyes.Intentional goodbyes.Inevitable goodbyes.But there is and there forever will be a hollow space left in our hearts.Goodbyes?There is and there forever will be nothing good about goodbyes!